Is Darien Laid Back or Frosty for Gay Couple with Kids?

Is Darien as frosty toward gay families as this picture (taken Monday) or laid back -- or is there a better description? A prospective newcomer wants to know.

Tilly Pond on a cold, snowy day (Monday, actually). The choice of photo is not meant to convey any editorial judgment.
Tilly Pond on a cold, snowy day (Monday, actually). The choice of photo is not meant to convey any editorial judgment.
Are Darien people more uptight or more laid back about gay couples with children in town?

In an online discussion that started Monday afternoon about Darien in a forum page on the City Data website, a gay parent now living in Brooklyn says he and his husband recently visited this community looking for a house -- and they love what they saw in town.

But he wonders about what kind of reception his family would receive here: "I do worry about less acceptance for a family headed by a same-sex couple. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with Darien and it's attitudes towards same-sex couples and families?"

The five responses received as of 4:20 p.m. range from "laid back" ...

[T]he "conservative" mindset you will find in Darien is strictly from a financial standpoint. Socially, people just don't care unless you flaunt your lifestyle.

... to "be careful."

I'm surprised you find Darien laid back. While it's a beautiful town, it has a history for being very uptight and pretentious. Westport and New Canaan (non-shore town) are a lot more laid back IMO.

The discussion also compared Darien to other affluent towns in Fairfield County.

The discussion calls to mind comments by the actress Chloe Sevigny, who grew up in town and told a British newspaper that she would never raise kids here. That raised hackles and responses about the mindset of Darien.

John Myroro December 16, 2013 at 06:49 PM
"Flaunt your lifestyle" What does that mean?
Cynthia Smith December 17, 2013 at 09:52 AM
As a Darien resident I would more the welcome a same sex couple with children. I think Darien is in some desperate need of a little diversity, so I hope they decide to give us a chance.
Liz Mao December 17, 2013 at 11:41 AM
When we moved here from NYC 23 years ago, we were concerned that we would be the only Asian/White couple in town. Then we met our neighbors across the street --just like us! There is more diversity than you think. Many families have moved here from NY and other very sophisticated cities around the world. Darien would welcome your family!
momindarien December 17, 2013 at 01:57 PM
Wonderful, just as long as they are the best and the brightest kids, and not special ed.
Lisa Wilson Grant December 17, 2013 at 07:14 PM
I think you would be fine, look at 8 Circle Road as a potential new home - it has a nice contemporary open plan layout, and a pool , great home to entertain in.
Beatriz Gigi Fernandez December 18, 2013 at 06:17 AM
My partner and I moved to Darien from Stamford a year ago. We have 5 year old twin and so far we've had nothing but acceptance and open arms. We even got married in town hall and felt very welcomed during the process as well. I hope you move to Darien and look us up!
Walt Havener December 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM
Most everybody agrees Mom in Darien is right. The education budget comes from all taxpayers in town. It is not a private cookie jar for the greedy. Education is an investment. A smart investment brings the highest return, which comes from the "best and the brightest kids" as she calls them. The ones with less ability should not be left out, but we have to be realistic with our money.


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