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Health & Fitness

College Application Essays - Avoid the Stress

Let’s clear up the rumors:

·         I haven’t entered the Witness Protection Program (yet)

·         I wasn’t arrested (again)

·         I certainly didn’t have a psychotic break (this year)

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Patch has had some technical problems with all the blogs so I haven’t had the ability to consistently upload my column on the College Application Essay process.

Let’s see if it’s okay now. The most important advice I can give you is….dhejaoebdlegahdugtiysgogoysgouxycgxoycgHoendhgdkjfiudyhlanufhpuifdnblukfdgysvfskfgdbgfdgfdslbjgfdblfjgdfbjfgbbjfbgbjfygtuvnlzowtdvytd

Find out what's happening in Darienwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

But Seriously….Since I am on several Patch sites and there have been multiple glitches at different times, it’s hard to know what was read, what wasn’t read….so…..let’s recap some of the basics…..

A student’s transcripts as well as his academic and extra-curricular achievements do not give any unique insight into the student as a person. Yes….they will illustrate hard work, intelligence, drive, aptitude, etc. However, these are the same attributes reflected in 28,000 other applications for the same institution.  

Simply put, essays help the admissions office evaluate your teen’s potential to fit into their school’s community and culture as a person. (Not as a student….not as club president….not as the driving force for raising money with a dance-a-thon or relay-for-life team and not as a swimmer who placed first in his county). Once again…the 28,000 other students….many of whom were driven to get 2400 on their SAT were also club presidents and competitors who gave their time to charity work….if not a kidney.

TOP FIVE MISTAKES INCLUDE….

1) Writing about academic accomplishments.

a)      Deja Vu: These accomplishments are on the student’s transcripts. The admissions officer already knows your teen achieved high marks in twelve AP classes.

b)      Birds of a feather flock together: Remember your son’s best friend when they were in the 6th grade? They drifted apart in high school once your son started getting straight A’s and his friend ended up on America’s Most Wanted. They aren’t applying to the same schools. On the other hand, everyone who is has similar or identical academic accomplishments as your son.

·         Similar Classes / Similar Grades / Similar Test Scores / Similar Extra Curricular Activities: President of Physics Club, Class President, Swim Team Captain, 1st Violin in School Orchestra, Yearbook Editor, Mathletes Captain, 1000 hours of community service.

c)      Blind date: Seldom does a blind date work out. My parents met on a blind date. After years of therapy, I’m still angry at the person who set them up! Academic accomplishments don’t tell the school anything about your teen as a PERSON….as an INDIVIDUAL.

2) Trying too hard to appear intellectual.

a)      I can curse in twenty languages: A thesaurus is not necessarily your friend. Using words like, “plethora” or “myriad” only serve to drive an admissions officer to early retirement. Your teen need not swallow a thesaurus to “sound” intelligent.

This comes from The University of Virginia: An actual excerpt from a TERRIBLE essay….

“From an early age, we accept death as the inevitable, but do not comprehend its actual denotation. Death is the impending future that all people must eventually grasp. In my early teens, my grandfather tragically perished. As a youth who did not identify with such a cataclysm I was saturated with various emotions. Initially, I was grieved by the loss of a loved one and could not understand why this calamity had to befall upon my family. I always considered death to have a devastating effect, but was shocked by the emotional strain it places upon an individual.”

Do you get any sense of the PERSON who wrote this? It’s just a collection of clichés put together with “Ten dollar words.” I get NO insight into this teen as an INDIVIDUAL.

b)      That Pythagoras was no square: Your teen doesn’t need to discuss her love of Shakespeare or Milton if she thinks this slight fib sounds better than discussing the merits of the Twilight series. On the other hand, if she’s reading Fifty Shades of Grey you have bigger issues to worry about than what college she gets into.

c)      Eszopiclone, Ramelteon, Triazolam, Zaleplon, Zolpidem: There are enough sleeping pills on the market so the admissions officer doesn’t need an essay to put him to sleep. I am not suggesting that the essay rival that of a SNL monologue but it can’t be boring either. Your teen can write about something as dry as my mother-in-law’s Thanksgiving turkey but it needs to sound interesting in story, sub-text, personality, connotation, sentence length, syntax, and unique in perspective. 

3) Trying too hard to appear creative.

•      Sweat dripped from my brow as the proctor meticulously handed out the nationally recognized assessment examination. My pulse raced and my heart pounded through my chest…

•      It was a cold and dreary night when I first arrived in London. I could hear the faint whispers of the Bard himself beckoning me to the Globe Theater.

•      It was all up to me. Bases loaded with two men out in the bottom of the ninth. We were suffering a dearth of three runs. I dug my cleats into the dusty granules of dirt, held my bat firmly and watched for the pitch like an eagle watches for its prey.

4) Taking a generic approach.  These are all clichés!!!!!!

a)      Check the basement for Pods or Avoid clichés like the plague.

i)         “I volunteer with special needs kids.”

ii)      “I am captain of our Mathlete team.”

iii)    “I’m hardworking, ambitious, and driven.”

iv)    “I love to be challenged.”

v)      “I am intellectually curious.”

vi)    “I get along well with my peers. They often look to me for leadership.”

viii) “My grandfather’s death made me want to be a doctor.”

ix) “I want to make a difference in the world.”

If the technical problems on Patch have cleared up….you are reading this. GREAT. If the problems haven’t cleared up and you aren’t reading this…sorry.  (huh?)

I will be presenting a FREE workshop on the Top Five Mistakes Students Make on their College Application Essays at each of the following libraries. (Pre-registration is strongly advised. Please call the library if you wish to attend) I am also available to speak at PTA meetings, JCC, etc....

This is my complete list as of now….NY, NJ, and CT.

July 22 – Bernardsville Library (NJ)

Sept 9 –   Shelter Rock Library (NY)

Sept 12 – West Windsor North HS PTA (NJ)

Sept 16 -  Syosset Library  (NY)

Sept 17 – Mount Pleasant Library (NY)

Sept 18 – Manhasset Library  (NY)

Sept 23 – Bellmore Library (NY)

Sept 24 – Jericho Library (NY)

Sept 25 – Montvale Library (NJ)

Sept 26 – Avon Library (CT)

Sept 30 – Smithtown Library (NY)

Oct 3 –   Oceanside Library  (NY)

Oct 6 –  National College Fair (Nassau Coliseum) 

Oct 7 – Maplewood Library (NJ)

Oct 8 – Academy of Allied Health Sciences HS PTA (NJ)

Oct 9 –   My 55th BD….I’ll be under the bed, curled in the fetal position, crying.

Oct 10 – Leonia Library (NJ)                                              

Randy Levin is the ONLY college application essay expert asked to speak at the National College Fair- Nassau Coliseum – Oct 6th 2013. The vast majority of Randy’s clients are accepted to the Ivy League or other prestigious colleges. He has a MA in English and a MFA in Creative Writing. He is a published writer and was a high school English teacher in high achieving north shore Long Island school districts for close to ten years.  For FREE information, go to his website: WriteToCollege.com


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