Single in the Suburbs

Being single in Darien is interesting to say the least. While I know there are a lot of single people in Darien, most are divorced, or at least most I have encountered. Being never married and having no kids is an anomaly in Darien for the most part. It is often assumed that you are married and have kids. I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked how old my kids are or where they go to school or that they think I am someone else and know my kids.

When I moved back to my hometown from NYC after stints in Ohio (college at Denison), DC and Chicago it was an adjustment to not live in a city after living in one for 14 years. I was used to everything being delivered--laundry, wine, food, anything my heart desired at any time of day. I quickly adjusted to doing my laundry and going to the store.

Moving back to Darien was not in my grand plan, I thought I was a NYC girl for life, but the big guy upstairs had different plans for me. I lost my job and could not afford to stay in my Upper East Side apartment. So I packed up my fifth floor walk up and moved back to my childhood bedroom. Not exactly glamorous, but what's a girl to do? My Samantha Jones lifestyle (in my mind) was quickly turned upside down as I was relegated to my parents’ house in my mid-30's with no car and no job. Humility at its best. I began pounding the pavement and freelancing.

I soon reconnected with my friends from childhood who lived here, church friends and joined YWCA Newcomers. I realized that I was ready to turn in the frantic NYC life of staying out all night too often that I would like to reveal for a calmer existence of volunteering, visiting the library and going to bed before the sun comes up.

A year into living back at home, I landed a fulltime job, got myself a Jetta and found a darling apartment in town (a few actually exist!). Throughout this experience I have been through many ups and downs and have made some drastic changes in my life, but they have all resulted in a better version of Holly that left NYC behind.

I am completely a suburban girl these days...I rarely go into NYC and quite frankly when I do it brings back some unpleasant memories of who I used to be and I rather like the true me whom I found back in Darien.

I have been embraced by the community, my childhood church, organizations that I have volunteered with, family and friends.

Some may wonder why I would want to live here single and to those people I say because I feel at home. I love Weed Beach, the Darien Library, the shops, walking to the beach from my apartment, having my amazing parents close by, my ten minute commute to work and much more.

I go through periods when I feel I don't fully fit in because I don't have a husband or a baby, which often feel like a requirement in the 06820, but I am grateful to my friends and my community for welcoming me home and I know I am not alone.

I started this blog to share my thoughts on being single in the suburbs. I look forward to your feedback. It is truly an adventure, living here I can't hide as another face in the crowd as I could in NYC, but rather I choose to live fully as a committed member of the Darien community.

Some days it is lonely or I feel like a third wheel when my married friends include me with their families, but for the most part, I feel a sense of gratitude to be back to a place that I love with people I love. While I would love to meet a great guy, suggestions please, I do not love online dating, nor do I frequently hang out in bars (left those days behind in 10028) so it is a challenge.

I hope to write regularly here about my adventures of being a single in the suburbs and dating. And if you know any funny, kind and honest single men (I know you know them). ... I'm your girl.

Enjoy the snow.

xx Hols in the suburbs