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Darien Safe Rides to Continue as Parent Volunteers Step Forward

Safe Rides last week was threatened with closure because of a lack of parent volunteers, but after an announcement, volunteers stepped forward.

Update, Monday, 4:41 p.m.:

Safe Rides, a program which which allows teenagers in town to get a ride home if they've been drinking and would be unsafe behind the wheel, was set to close last week, but after word got out, the program is back, volunteer Gary Weicker says:

"We have had an outpouring of volunteers stepping forward to keep it going. This is a great organization and provides a safe way for our high school kids to get home on weekend nights."

Original article, March 14: "Darien Safe Rides to End Without Parent Support—Can You Help?"

Darien Safe Rides to Shut Down on April 30 after 30 Years Due to Lack of Parent Support

Sadly, Darien Safe Rides will shut down at the end of April due to the lack of parent support.  The Darien Safe Rides program, the first in the nation, was founded in 1982 after several teenage fatalities involving alcohol-related accidents. 

The program has been copied throughout the the state of Connecticut and the nation. It has helped save teenage lives and has provided a leadership experience for those students participating in the program.  

Can the program be saved? Only if a team of three or more parents steps up to be the Parent Advisors for next year. 

Traditionally, the Parent Advisors have, or expect to have, a child involved in the program.  The Parent Advisors work with the ten or so Student Officers that run the program as well as lead student teams comprised of juniors and seniors. 

The Parent Advisors lead a monthly meeting with Student Officers that covers scheduling, compliance with Safe Rides rules, and other issues that come up.  Another separate team of parents coordinates the scheduling of parents on duty at the Depot when Safe Rides operates. 

At the beginning of the school year, the Parent Advisors conduct an informational meeting for parents and students, and coordinate the receipt of documentation such as licenses, insurance and parent approvals. 

If interested in learning more, please email saferidesdarien@gmail.com 

Background information

Darien Safe Rides, a youth-directed program that is sponsored by the Town of Darien’s Youth Commission. Darien Safe Rides is a program designed to provide a free and confidential ride home to any student who is not in a condition to drive safely or to any student who wants to avoid being a passenger in such a situation.

Darien Safe Rides is also a program which holds the potential for changing attitudes about driving while drinking; the student's concern for each other's safety leads to greater appreciation of both the risks and responsibilities associated with driving while impaired. Darien Safe Rides operates out of the Depot Teen Center.

Darien Safe Rides was founded in 1982 by several Darien High School students after they witnessed a number of alcohol-related car accidents amongst their friends. Its stated purpose is to provide safe, reliable and confidential transportation for High School students from 10 p.m.. to 1:30 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights during the school year.

It is organized and operated primarily by the students, with adult supervision, and currently has approximately 100 student volunteers fielding approximately 5-15 calls per night. It is a testament to their success that there have been no alcohol-related deaths from car accidents among Darien High School students since the program’s inception.

Students and at least one adult volunteer gather at the Depot as the team responsible for giving Darien's high school students a safe ride home. One student is the dispatcher, handling all incoming telephone calls as well as maintaining contact with the Darien Safe Rides cars on call.

Students are sent out in pairs. Drivers use his/her family car and are accompanied by a rider. The responsibility of the rider is assisting the driver in finding the location address, assessing the situation of the pick up, and handling the phone contact with the dispatcher. 

Adult volunteers are on duty for the students to consult if they need help. The parents of participating students are required to spend one evening a semester (twice a year) at the Depot on a Friday or Saturday night as a Parent Volunteer to provide guidance in the event of an emergency or logistical problem.  

Safe Rides depends on the commitment of its members and the attitude toward it by other students. Although parents are involved, the program's basic premise is that responsible young people can have a positive and meaningful impact on the problem of alcohol and other drug abuse, particularly as it relates to the inevitable risks of driving while under the influence.

Editor's note: This article originally was published Thursday. The timestamp has been changed for layout purposes on the Home page of Darien Patch.

karen nilsson March 15, 2013 at 02:26 am
fact is underage drinking does happen. I am a bit surprised that underage kids are still after 30 years can still buy cigarettes and alcohol underage. The fact that parents allow their kids to do it at home, is because they know they will be out driving and doing it. Hiding and doing it. Europeans allow there teens to have a social drink, and well it may be better to show our teens how to be responsible before they get to college, where somehow it is acceptable to be drinking and partying underage. Such a hypocritical system we have. I will say Darien and was a wild place in the 70's weed beach was packed from end to end with young people their cars, blasting music and partying, then in the 80's weed beach was a place for teens to party, but less imposing than in the 70's we only had the far right side of the beach. Not anymore, so hats off to Darien for finding a way to keep their teens safe and active.
Porter Gladstone III March 15, 2013 at 04:29 am
The finger waggers are the ones that eventually cause the deaths in towns.
So MP and Yikes will push the point that we shouldn't enable kids drinking by providing this service. The service then gets shut down --kids drink anyway, and tragedy occurs. yes-its a shocker MP that kids drink in darien. Go on a crusade of stopping this behavior. In the mean time Safe Rides should continue . Reality is reality. It's not new to 2013. It wasn't new in Mark Twain's day and it wont be gone 100 years from now.
MP March 15, 2013 at 05:37 am
Aren't you that angry troll who twists everything with the hope you'll start a fight?
How did you twist me saying Safe Rides is "incredible and these volunteers deserve medals", into me wanting to shut it down? Go away troublemaker.
Yikes March 15, 2013 at 11:48 am
Of course kids will drink. All I am saying is Darien has a drinking problem as a whole. There are so many issues here:
1. Kids are drinking alcohol 2. Kids are drinking so much alcohol they can't get home safely 3. Kids are stupid enough today (I would like to think it is a bit different than 1982 thanks to groups like SADD and education, but apparently not in wonderful Darien) that they can't have ONE friend be a designated driver 4. The kids don't have anyone to call except a volunteer service to pick them up because they drank too much? Umm, mom or dad? Or are mom and dad too drunk to get them? 5. FIFTEEN calls in a night? From kids. Wake up.
David Gurliacci (Editor) March 15, 2013 at 12:31 pm
Porter, I think MP (and other people who comment on Darien Patch) are understandably irritated at your approach. Please take better care in characterizing their positions, because you're making it annoying for people who comment on this website. You often have some good insights mixed in with that, but you turn people off with your "twists" (good choice of words, MP) and the rough way you respond, so turn the dial down on both of those things, please, because these forums should be welcoming. You might want to review Patch's "Terms of Use" policy. The link is in the lower lefthand corner of every Patch page.
Lisa Hoguet March 15, 2013 at 12:57 pm
This program has been a model for programs all over the country. Darien is certainly not alone in having to deal with underage drinking. The fact is, it happens. And kids make stupid decisions. Safe Rides doesn't condone underage drinking, but helps to keep those kids safe so they can go on to make a better decision another day. Think of it like birth control...we all wish teens weren't having sex, but wouldn't you rather have them safe than have their life dramatically changed because of one stupid decision?
If there had really been any improvement in teen drinking over the last 30 years, there wouldnt be a need for Safe Rides. But obviously there hasnt been. And not all the calls are from kids who have been drinking...there are always kids who use it as a taxi service.
Leslie Yager March 15, 2013 at 01:10 pm
MP, regarding renewed effort to stop kids from drinking (and drugs) there is a workshop next week in Norwalk by Courage to Speak's Ginger Katz who lost her son. 3/19, 5:15-7:30 at West Rocks MS http://patch.com/E-vnJ1
Preston Bealle March 15, 2013 at 01:54 pm
I went to 3 high schools in the late '60s, a private school in CT, then New Canaan High, and graduated from a big high school in LA. There was tons of drinking starting in 8th/9th grade all 3 places. And, people drove drunk with much less thought about it, because there was neither the awareness nor the penalties that developed over the years. Arguing that Darien is worse than some other imaginary town at some other time is pointless, It seems better to me now than my own high school times, but I don't have a survey aside from being a DHS parent of 3 kids. This article states that a very good program wit a stellar history needs 3 parent volunteers and being disdainful of the town here seems misplaced on all levels. To say that Safe Rides proves Darien has more drinking is like saying having the Center for Hope proves Darien has an unusually high level of bereavement. What it actually proves is we are doing something where some towns are not. .
Leslie Yager March 15, 2013 at 02:09 pm
I grew up in Darien (K-12) and have now lived in Greenwich for 15 years. Neither town has a unique "problem." Safe Rides is valuable in many towns. I'm sure lives are saved. The volunteer shift 10pm - 2am is a tough one. I used to hate having to pick my 15 year old daughter up from her Safe Rides volunteer shift (she rode shotgun with licensed driver, or took calls at Red Cross HQ), but it was worthwhile.
Lisa Schneider March 15, 2013 at 04:10 pm
As a founding member of Safe Rides, this news makes me incredibly sad. We fought so hard to get this program up and running, shed many tears over friends lost, and celebrated the victory of our first night in the YWCA taking our first call. Critics saw the program as enabling kids to drink more since they knew they had a ride home. Supporters saw it as something worth trying if it saved even one life.
I am encouraged that time has brought change in attitude over drinking and driving. I have learned from my 17yr old daughter that it is considered a friendship-losing offense. The term 'designated driver' is now called a 'DD' and there is one at every party within their friend group. If every group of teens had this level of responsibility then, yes, maybe we wouldn't need Safe Rides anymore. But we all know this is not the case. Teens drink. Teens drive. Teens drink and drive (and so do adults for that matter). I am hopeful that a few parents will step up and taken on this awesome and important leadership role. The town that founded the program should never have to lose it, especially with the statistics that support its life saving success.
Joanna Walters March 15, 2013 at 04:37 pm
The people calling were (and probably still are) often the ones who's ride was drinking. When we started this (I worked on it from '82-'84) there were NO parents at the call center - just 2 pairs of driver/assistant + dispatcher. Why do there have to be parents there every night?
Joanna Walters March 15, 2013 at 04:47 pm
I was also a founding member of Safe Rides. My big question is why are parents required to be involved at all? We only had kids on duty each night. Scheduling was done by students (a.k.a. me). Admin meetings, training, and anything else was all arranged by students. In fact, I don't think it would have been nearly as much fun to be hanging around waiting for calls if someone's Mom or Dad was there too. A lot of gossiping and trash talking happened in those hours.
Boggs March 15, 2013 at 09:53 pm
Amen David !
Seems that the most obnoxious and rude posts are those done in the wee hours of the morning. Wonder if it's due to over self-medication.
Leslie Yager March 15, 2013 at 10:20 pm
Joanna, no one answered your question yet, so I'll just wager a guess. I know in Greenwich Safe Rides asked for AOP's - Adults on premises. My kid said if the adult was, say in their 20s they'd hang out with the volunteer teens. Other times the AOP was a parent and they were on site but not hovering. I think it makes sense to have an adult present for important, quick, decision-making.
Joanna Walters March 15, 2013 at 11:55 pm
Thanks, Leslie. Maybe they could change it from AOP (Adult on Premises) to AOC (Adult on CALL). I am a bit mystified about what could be so urgent or confusing that the students wouldn't know what to do. When I got in a car accident during high school, it was a fellow 16-year old (or maybe 17?) classmate that showed up in the ambulance to take care of me. That's got to be a lot more intense than anything Safe Rides would deal with.
Leslie Yager March 16, 2013 at 12:01 am
Jianna,
I can't remember the details, but I think Greenwich required an AOP because they got a waiver for the new teen driving laws with the rules about passengers and curfews??? But also, they are fielding some phonecalls for rides that require mature decision making. Like what if maybe they need an ambulance and not a ride. But you're right, maybe the adult could be on-call at home. I'm definitely not arguing with you.
Bree March 16, 2013 at 01:36 am
What is the Town's liability with this program? Volunteer children driving drunk children in their personal cars?
David Gurliacci (Editor) March 16, 2013 at 01:56 am
The Depot is a non-profit organization, I don't know of any town liability.
Porter Gladstone III March 16, 2013 at 02:59 am
Ok,
I read your post. Just need clarity. You say I twist, and commend MP for the choice of words. And also encourage a lack of twisting. So, if i make assumptions and then accusations, David, that is wrong? To me, your address to me is an extension of the other issue that we disagreed on with regards to the Stevenson/ office of the First Selectman and how you made an assumption of the intent of her office. You surmised that if Darien Times obtained the agenda first, then a reasonable explanation could be to gain browine points. Just so I know, is that twisting events in order to achieve your desired result of slamming the FS? In this thread, you applaud the word twist. Ok. Again--confusing. I'll start with the concept of if there are 15 fire alarms in a day, does that mean there are 15 fires? MP, who says that it is I who twists concludes that 15 calls means 10-30 drunk kids a weekend. Is that twisting or fact? Does MP understand that the prior to reaching the age of 21 is .02%? .02% is having 1 beer in an hour and a half. Does that qualify as bein a drunk kid? 20 years old with 1 beer? Or would you define that as twisting? MP says that parents in town look the other way or even host drinking parties. Is that twisting the facts? To which I respond MP's derisive comments about parents and kids is not helpful. I dont see why MP gets to deride parents . Could you explain. And why twisting is allowed with kids. Thanks!
David Gurliacci (Editor) March 16, 2013 at 03:11 am
MP, above: "How did you twist me saying Safe Rides is 'incredible and these volunteers deserve medals', into me wanting to shut it down?" I would define that as twisting his words around and looking for a fight. If you'd like, we could continue this discussion on your profile page or mine, or by email.
Porter Gladstone III March 16, 2013 at 03:21 am
Sure David
Thanks for the response. But my words were:" So MP and Yikes will push the point that we shouldn't enable kids drinking by providing this service. The service then gets shut down --kids drink anyway, and tragedy occurs." My perception was not that MP 'wanted to shut it down" (never said that) I said that when you portray the service as one that enables drinking--or that parents turn the other cheek and allow their kids to drink knowing that safe rides will be there------it can have an effect to the point of shutting it down. Hope you can see that. The discussion becomes one focused on how much kids drink and how there are entities, such as parents and safe rides that need to be examined. I dont consiider that twisting.
Glasshouse March 16, 2013 at 04:26 am
Omg you guys are twisting everything up and getting way off topic(I include the editor)
The main point is safe rides. Safe rides is great bc it gives kids a way home regardless of whether or not they are drunk...period. It's safe. I will add though that it's probably the kids of the parents who are so outraged and in denial about underaged drinking who are the most drunk and puking in the safe ride car. Way to go parents...just keep your heads deeply buried in the sand. THAT is what is unsafe.
yikes March 16, 2013 at 12:45 pm
I never said the service enables drinking. I said there is a drinking problem and quite honestly it is pathetic the service is needed. It is unfortunate that kids have to drink so much to have fun that they need a volunteer to drive them home. Or kids can't call their parents for a ride home if they haven't been drinking. Or they can't have a designated driver so everyone gets home safely. The service should not be needed. That is all I am saying.
Danielle Leinroth March 16, 2013 at 11:48 pm
What about the fact that this service also protects innocent drivers from being a victim of drunk driving? Safe rides also protects other members of the community. So, if anyone thinks this program only protects the drunken teen, they should thing again.
This is a service for the whole community!
John March 17, 2013 at 08:24 pm
Danielle....I gave you a compliment for being intelligent with your comment before...It got taken down by the editor....I guess because it made him feel not too worthy...so I will say it again,,,,"MOST Intelligent"........"freedom of speech??"......WOW......
DHS grad March 17, 2013 at 09:04 pm
It will be a sad moment for Darien if Safe Rides closes. Like a number of those commenting here, I was part of the group that founded Safe Rides. I also was a member of Post #53, the Darien ambulance service which is run by high school students. The last teenage death due to drunk driving involved two high school seniors who were amongst the most popular in the class. I can tell you ... the accident scene was devastating. I randomly happened across this article today. It makes no sense to me that Safe Rides would close.
I work in public health now. It is hard to step forward and put your time, energy, money towards creating a non-event. That is essentially what prevention is ... paying for something to NOT happen. A paradox develops. The more something does not happen over time, the less people tend to value the non-occurrence. I agree with many of those commenting here that prevention of teenage excess drinking needs to be a priority. Certainly. Yet the fact that Safe Rides receives 5 to 15 calls per weekend night speaks to the ongoing need for this service. For the parents of teenagers in Darien ... you will never remember not receiving a call in the middle of the night that your teenager has been in a terrible accident. However, your life will never be the same again if you do receive such a call. It is worth striving to do what is needed to keep Safe Rides open.
Ridgefielder March 18, 2013 at 03:40 am
I'm from Ridgefield and I have a question for y'all. We have a safe rides program (and I am very thankful to the volunteers). But we've still had many many alcohol related car fatalities with our youth. I maybe off a little off, but if I had to think back, I'd say we had half a dozen in the last 10 years.. Extrapolating, that's 20 deaths in 30 years compared to Darien having none. What's going on? Why does Ridgefield have so many more than Darien? What are we doing differently?
Along the same lines, we have also had many teenage suicides and drug overdoes. Does anyone know Darien's stat on these other types of teenage deaths? I ask because maybe Darien is doing something differently from Ridgefield and if we could identify what that is, we all could save many more lives. Thanks.
Leslie Yager March 26, 2013 at 11:59 am
Congrats, Darien. An "outpouring" of volunteers is great news for Safe Rides and a vital service continues.
Barbara Goodsen March 27, 2013 at 12:45 pm
How wonderful! A real coming together of the community!
Glasshouse March 28, 2013 at 01:54 am
Well said DHS grad. I remember the DHS deaths...so many friends. And I remember starting the program. I also know that the kids these days use Safe Rides for rides when they are drunk AND when they are not. And you know what? Who cares? The bottom line is that they are safer because they have a safe option. The Holier than now/stick your head in the sand crowd doesn't like it? Who cares.
Driving drunk can be taken out of the equation. What can be wrong with that?

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